i feel piss
i feel mad
i feel that my privacy had been violated
i feel that all my old junk had come out
i wondering what had i done
what had i done wrong
keep on asking me why i flirt with other guys after meeting u up .....
u told me that i not ur type of gurl ..
u told me that between us there is no chance
u told me u don't believe me at all
u know how i feel ? how hurt i am ?
u hate me when I'm in irc ,,, u said that I'm cheep and many things
u don't like me to have guy friend
for all that i can accept it
for all that i had cried many many tears
i never ask about ur past
i never ask about ur friends
i never have doubt on u ..
u always had doubt on me and its keep on hunting u ....
i admit i did flirt with raja long time ago .. in sms
i knew raja long before knowing u ... we r just friend... and we never meant to be together. Not now nor never will be.
i never go out with him .. not even once.. only once i meet him for business with all my bos n colleague
i never went to miri before ..
the last time i went to labuan is on my convo day n that's so long ago ..and i stayed at my aunt house at Bukit Kuda the Kastam Housing.
but regardless what i said u will never believe me ..
no matter how truthful i am to u .. no mater what
I'm not defending myself .. I'm just tired
tired for being like this ..
i sayang u .. i want to built a future with u , i want to love u but I'm scared....
.. i become more and more scared day passes by.
fear that what if u hate me so much that you would just simple dump me
fear of my past , the things that i done and u would take it for a reason to hate me more.
u tell me to be honest with u and that is what i did ...
but then again you wont believe me ..
u doubts doubts doubts ... everyday doubts
these days i feel like I'm not suitable for u ... I'm not good enough for u ,I'm not smart enough for u ,I'm too dirty n cheep for u ..
i feel that way
i don't want to cry no more ...
i don't want to ask you to believe me ..i don't want to ask for ur trust ... its all up to you .. for u to judge and for u to figure it am i worth for you
what ever it is ... i just a gurl who wanted to be with u regardless for bad or for worst
just a gurl who wanted to share her life with u
but then again
I'm also a gurl who is badly hurt too .. not only u
sometimes i wonder to myself why am i so stupid to be hurt like this ...
sometime i wonder am i good enough for u
sometime i wonder am i doing the right thing
i told u before i am trying to be a better person day by day .. it's take time but I'm still learning and changing ..
I'm sorry i hurt ur feeling .. i never ment to
I'm sorry i done stupid mistake
i sorry for having guys friend
I'm sorry for having a lousy past
I'm sorry for everything
i don't want to argue with u or anything but i just feel i need so say it out it anyway ..
. i sayang u still .. very very much
regardless u want to hate me,mad at me or what ever it is
regardless u took me as your friend,ur enamy , someone you hate
just wanna tell u that i sayang u .. as a person ,as a man , as munish